I stole this from Immi.
What is your favorite color? Blues and purples
When was the last time you had a drink?
Alcoholic? last month.
Iced Tea, water, V8: daily.
Gay or Straight? 95% straight. I say this because there is a slight chance that anyone could go against their sexual orientation. I am not attracted to women. If I see a naked woman, all I see is a naked woman. I can get turned on by porn involving people of whatever sex, which is kind of weird, but I think its because of the activity, not because they are male or female. I also have an incident in my past that does trigger an arousal with female-female porn even though I'm not attracted to women in my daily life. I was molested by a couple of girls my own age repeatedly when I was in the third grade. You may say that a child can't be molested by other children. Yes. One can. So this arousal is a shameful arousal. Its a mirror of what I felt when those girls were molesting me, and I've really never dealt with it.
I ended up finding out that I was straight for sure the one time that I did experiment with a woman. I was 35 years old, involved in a really pathological relationship with a guy much older than me, and she was a woman that people would say was "hot." A former stripper with big breasts. We worked together. I was a bartender, she was a cocktail waitress. We had gone out drinking--heavily--and one thing led to another. I was as not hot then as I am now, but thinner. Two things I noticed: I couldn't kiss her, and when we actually got to the sex part, I felt nothing. It wasn't gross, it was just nothing. In some ways it's kind of a shame because I have had no luck with men, even though I am attracted to them. I end up with the same man every time: the wrong one. He just has a different body each time. And a different alibi for his crappy behavior. ;-)
Oh well. People with borderline personality disorder (at least this person with borderline personality disorder) aren't capable of having healthy relationships anyway. I really don't want another one. But I can still dream of the dudes!
Married or Single? Single. I’m horrible at romatic or mated or whathaveyou relationships. See the Borderline Personality Disorder thing. I choose the wrong guy and turn into a jealous psycho. Not a good plan.
If you could go back in time, where would you go? I've learned that you can't go back in time and change things no matter how much you want to. But I would like to have a chat with H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe and see what they think about some of my ideas.
Do you have any children? College age sonWhen were you diagnosed as bipolar? Six years ago as Bipolar II but I can remember seeing signs of it as early as nine years old when I began to hit puberty.
Do you have any siblings? One brother. He's four years younger than me and about a foot taller.
Where do you work? In the medical field. Not a wise plan to mention your place of employment online!What are you life plans? To get my ass out of debt and hopefully eventually make enough money freelancing that I don't have to work overtime (or for anyone else at all) anymore. Maybe to get my LCSW license so I can be a counselor.
Where all have you lived? All over the damn place. Currently live in Colorado.Happy Thanksgiving, people. Eat turkey or tofu turkey or whatever you eat. And now I'm off to spend time with my family.
xoxo,
PSYCHO
