http://ping.fm/8MQG2 Why is the criminal Michael Vick allowed to keep playing football and earning a huge salary?

http://ping.fm/2dEJ1 Burger King takes a shot at going gourmet.

If you're a truly creative person you're probably a bit odd anyway. So why worry about appearing normal to those who don't understand? -- Me

RT @diamondsongrass "Never stop doing your best just because one person doesn't give you credit." ---Beth

RT @diamondsongrass "Lord knows dreams are hard to follow, but don't let anyone tear them away." ---Mariah Carey, "Hero"

RT @shitmydadsays I don't need a party to celebrate New Years. All I need is a bottle of bourbon and a tshirt that hangs down past my balls

http://ping.fm/c48vd The "friendly?" Skies? A little too "friendly."

Who Wants To Fly Under Current Conditions? Not I!

Check this out. Who the hell wants to fly with this kind of shit happening?

Ugh! Road trip sounds better and better. I wish that the United States would improve its train service--Amtrak is, unfortunately, shite. For instance if you want to get from Denver to Tucson, you have to go to LA from Denver and from there to Phoenix. Either that or take a bus from Denver to Raton, New Mexico and then take the train to Phoenix. How stupid is that???

I was a victim of sexual assault. Having someone touch me in the way described in the article would be triggering to say the least.

I highly doubt that treating passengers this way is in any way going to stop terrorists from attacking planes if they want to do so.

Driving drunk without your trousers = way to get busted! Please don't do this tonight. Sometimes Tru TV is hilarious.

@mrtommyland Happy fuckin new year to you too, Darlin'. Rock on!

New year greetings to the "friend" who dumped me after 5 yr friendship. Weak, dude. But thanks for showing your true colors. Have a life.

Check out Lunascape – Severed Heart @lastfm http://t.co/IV9eRpS

Check out Blue Foundation – Eyes On Fire @lastfm http://t.co/x3DPvvf absolutely gorgeous!

Check out Morcheeba – Beat of the Drum @lastfm http://t.co/86jsh43

Check out Bitter:Sweet – Bittersweet Faith @lastfm http://t.co/9Zrvgw5

Check out Supreme Beings of Leisure – Golddigger @lastfm http://t.co/XQhYSSu Sometimes you just have to go downtempo.

Urgh! My final quiz score (65%) stunk like a big fart! I don't care though--I pass the class either way. So far it looks like a B.

And now, the Unit 9 Pathophysiology test. See you on the flip side!

http://ping.fm/YOF9X These jagoffs advertise themselves on Facebook with the tagline "Don't be a Fat Cow." Hate sells, maybe?

Psycho: Naked???

This was a response to a letter that a photographer friend of mine, Walt Cessna, received. You can also discover more about Walt on his blog.

It's a wonderful photo, and I was struck by the words in the letter too. People probably find it hard to believe, but I used to model for art schools, and no, I was never hot or sexy. I had a kangaroo pouch belly with stretch marks, my butt and thighs are large, and my boobs are average sized and never enhanced. I have never done erotic modeling--who the hell would want to see a 45 year old fat woman with gray hair doing anything erotic--but I honestly have no problems with the idea of nude modeling. We are born naked, ain't we?

I wish that people would have a more natural attitude about our bodies. Fat or thin, old or young, we all have a certain beauty. 

I think that's what I really like about your work. It's natural, never forced. Kudos!

A Fitting Choice!

Snow Angel Name Generator My Snow Angel Name Generator is Hope the Angel of Eggnog Get Your Snow Angel Name Generator at Quizopolis.com

CAT FACT (reason 2 spay/neuter kitty): During her productive life, one female cat could have more than 100 kittens.

Friends, if y'all wouldn't mind spreading the word about my Chipin link that I shared, I would appreciate it! Any little bit helps so much!

One more activity to put the final cap on this pathophysiology class--the Unit 9 test. Then I really am done. Let the chips fall and all.

http://ping.fm/DKhtU I hate to beg but any little amount can help!

Hey FB Sidebar: Botox may not involve surgery but it's still a heinous, deadly toxin and I do not want it anywhere near my body!

I know it's better for my lard ass to walk my rounds, but I'm so sore that I think I'll walk half and ride the scooter for the other half.

smile4haiti.org Smile 4 Haiti

RT @Slash "Where's my cake Bedillia, its Father's Day, I want my cake, u bitch!" Lol! Iii|; P

http://ping.fm/6LXDh Poor PANSI finds herself disturbed by The Spooky Guy's decor.

Maybe Not Lazy

I would like to share this great post by my blog friend Kate White on Healthy Place blogs about "laziness" and depression. I will also share my reply.

In my teen years I constantly heard how lazy I was. I always felt like if I couldn’t be perfect I shouldn’t try at all. I learned at 16 that I had hypothyroidism, but the pills didn’t help. I learned at 25 that I have fibromyalgia, but nobody taught me how to deal with it. I learned at 38 that I have type II bipolar disorder that the doctors kept misdiagnosing as depression with anxiety. Finally a counselor asked some questions that led to the discovery of a pattern and the beginning of my taking lithium. This helped with the irritability, but the constant exhaustion was still there. I learned in the past year that I also have borderline personality disorder and that my hoarding problems are not due to being lazy, they are part and parcel of my obsessive-compulsive disorder. I am struggling to get on top of many, many, many years worth of avoiding the problem and hating myself.

Check out Forest Fire – Fortune Teller @lastfm http://t.co/3kS3ppQ A cool, unique sound.

Check out Lightning Dust – Antonia Jane @lastfm http://t.co/nP1KcI4 Pretty song, haunting voice

http://ping.fm/Hszl8 Size-friendly Health Professionals

http://ping.fm/BZf9R Association for Size Diversity and Health

Shit Counselors Who Need to be Hog-Tied

If you want to make your blood boil, read this appalling account by a woman with PTSD and other issues who happens to be overweight as well. This poor individual was brutally psychologically abused by her so-called therapist. 

This was my response to her post:

Personally I don't trust counselors because I've had bad experiences with many of them, but this one took the cake. Back in 1997 I was raped by a former boyfriend and was having panic attacks. I went to a counselor who also did hypnotherapy and supposedly did EMDR, but a counselor I had later said he never heard of EMDR being performed in the manner I described. At any rate at one point in my treatment, this broad says to me "Well, Bloomy, you're doing much better. You were a real basket case when you first came here." I looked at her aghast and said "EXCUSE ME?" 

She hemmed and hawed and said "well, what I meant was...well, you're doing much better now."

I said that I agreed that I was, and it was never appropriate to refer to a client as a "basket case." I terminated my therapy with her. Unfortunately I was apologetic about doing so. She said "oh, you don't need to apologize. I'M not the one with the self-esteem problem."

I agree with the person who said that it is worth it to interview potential therapists. You don't owe them a damn thing if they can't deliver compassionate treatment!

http://ping.fm/x4NrN 100 cool positive quotes for women and the men who respect them

http://ping.fm/f4myj On beauty, Shallowness, and Romance

Learn to value yourself, which means to fight for your happiness. --Ayn Rand

http://ping.fm/PvWr3 Misplaced Anti-Feminism leads to Tragedy

Misplaced Anti-Feminism Leads to Tragedy

This is my response to a post by JennInCanada on her blog, Fat and Unafraid, commemorating the one year anniversary of the killing of multiple women at the Polytechnique School in Montreal. I wanted to post it on the blog entry but for some reason her blog is being uncooperative!

The erroneous idea that women who identify as feminists are all "man-hating femi-nazis" is, I believe, a throwback to the idea that women are supposed to be subservient to men rather than being independent and self-sufficient. It is very sad that this archaic notion manifested itself in such tragedy.

This is my favorite quote about feminism. It definitely applies to my thoughts on the matter.

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a door mat or a prostitute. ~Rebecca West, "Mr Chesterton in Hysterics: A Study in Prejudice," The Clarion, 14 Nov 1913, reprinted in The Young Rebecca, 1982

One day all people will be treated equal and then there will be no need to identify as a feminist if one believes in equal treatment and opportunities for females. Until then, I am not about to be one of those apologists out of whose mouth falls the words "I'm not a feminist, but I believe that women should be afforded the same opportunities as men."

If you believe that, then you damn well are a feminist, whether you are male or female. Don't be afraid to wear the title proudly.

On Beauty, Shallowness, and Romance

This is a response to a poignant, painful post by Shannon of the fabulous Fierce, Freethinking Fatties blog.

 I was never considered pretty even when I was thin. At this point in my life I do not seek romance because I have mental health issues that make it impossible. Borderline personality disorder and romantic attachment make a very poor combination. I can’t take care of myself when I’m hung up on some guy–invariably a jerk.

I wouldn’t want guys drooling over me and thinking of me as a “babe” and a “hottie.” I am a very modest person and uncomfortable with that sort of lecherousness. However, in spite of it all, just once I would like to be seen as attractive. I guess it affects us all.

http://ping.fm/aU1O1 The World's Longest Cat

One Colorado http://ping.fm/iHfZL

Year of Loss

This has been a year of loss, minor on the scale compared to those who have lost loved ones, but loss nonetheless. My living situation is badly compromised. I need to get back to the cleanup work but became horribly discouraged over the past few days. I have accumulated way too much stuff in my life and I suppose those more sensible than I would just throw things out without regard to what they are. I am storing them. The carpets are still wet, we are still unable to shower, and we still have to bring in water. Then there was a fly infestation due to the moisture. Flies love moisture, it is prime breeding ground. I am overwhelmed and have no idea how this is going to resolve.

I lost friends. It wasn't a "real world" friend, I really don't have any of those. It was a long time online friend who decided to cut me off. I have a great deal of difficulty with abandonment issues. I have since decided that this person was being unfair and while I think it is too bad that they behaved the way they did, and I'm sorry they felt the way they did, I am not going to allow myself to harbor thoughts of self-harm over someone who has no regard for the feelings of others. Everybody has problems, not just them. I always thought things were better when people supported each other but if someone is bound and determined to isolate and stew in their own juices, there's nothing to be done. If you have a problem with somebody you can politely take it up with them, or you can act like a passive-aggressive jerk, as another friend who was caught in the fallout from this person's tirade pointed out.

My father's mental and physical status are deteriorating. I would hate to have that man as a patient. He fights every treatment. He needs to have oxygen 24 hours a day due to the fact that without it his o2 saturation levels are only in the 70's, but he refuses. The hypoxia contributes to the dementia. He has congestive heart failure. He is no longer able to assist my mother in standing him. She has to use a lift. He refuses to sleep because he feels like he's dying. He feels like he's dying because he has sleep apnea for up to a minute at a time and refuses to use a CPAP or oxygen. He urinates scant amounts all the time due to an enlarged prostate. The insurance won't pay for home care because his is a chronic condition--but it's a deteriorating condition! Fuckers.

When I started promoting my writing, I was naive as hell. I thought that I would find a supportive community of fellow creative souls. I've found a few who are kinda sorta supportive, but all creative people are mostly interested in promoting their own work. Which is okay, I suppose I fall into that category myself. What was dismaying for me is discovering how many bitter, mean-spirited people there are in the creative fields. Dealing with these types has kind of taken the fun out of the interactions for me. Worse yet, with everything else that's going on, I really don't have much hope and nothing is very much fun. Writing is more a chore than a joy a great deal of the time. I don't give up because that would be giving in, but it used to be a fun escape. It hasn't been for a long time.

So that's been 2010 for me. How 'bout you?

Proof Positive: Chicken Little Goes to Resilience Therapy | World of Psychology http://ping.fm/Nk3SR

The Worst Beer in the World http://ping.fm/GPXVo

Sarah Palin the pack leader as 'mama grizzlies' roam US political landscape | World news | The Guardian http://ping.fm/EgsHq

http://ping.fm/MWXln Livestrong Top Ten Diet Myths

Basic Polish Phrases, swear words and slang http://ping.fm/mQoVK

R2-D2 Jack-o-Lantern http://ping.fm/Fd8sY

Taunted Trenton girl goes on toy spree | detnews.com | The Detroit News http://ping.fm/LKKTO

C**t of the Century http://ping.fm/9ioSw

Taunted on Internet, Dying Michigan Girl Kathleen Edward Gets Shopping Spree http://ping.fm/7C2Cu

Deciding which evil, disturbing plot to pursue.

Crazy possessive psycho stalker kitteh makes it hard to type as she keeps climbing into my lap.

15 Unfortunately Placed Ads - Oddee.com http://ping.fm/c9ukE

The World's Longest Enchilada http://ping.fm/9zF35

Words

OCD and Me

I have OCD comorbid with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. Most of my OCD symptoms are fairly mild and in my control, but the hoarding aspect (items, not animals) does interfere with my life to a degree. I have trouble throwing things out for fear that I may need them later. It isn't to the extreme degree that one sees on the television program but it does make life more difficult.

I remember noticing symptoms of OCD when I was about 6 years old. I had a system of counting that I relied on to choose my clothes for the day. This is pretty harmless. I still use it when I'm being indecisive. I also get bugged when I'm putting messages on the boards at work and the push pin colors don't match. Not out of control angry or anything, it just distracts me, so if someone has put up a bulletin and the push pins don't match I change them so they do.

Waiting Game

I wish I would hear something--anything--from the lender. :-(
I have been living without running water for a month now. This place is a total money pit and we really need to get out. The lender was supposed to have called me on Monday. It's now Thursday. I guess that does not bode well.

outrage

Being sad over someone else's unnecessary meanness just makes me tired.
FUCK MEAN SPIRITED PEOPLE.
I have enough pain in my life. If someone is just bound to be mean and ugly, then I need to put them out of my life. I cannot have this dark energy. I have to save myself.

Another Stolen Thought

Clinically Clueless writes so well. This is another thought I am stealing from them and expanding on it a little.
I have a name, remember me and not my illness. My name is not, "depression." Please don't whisper anymore when you think I'm not listening or spread gossip behind my back or back away from me and pretend you don't see me. Please try to understand and help me. If you don't want to help, at least, don't make it worse by making me feel "different," unseen, worthless or like I'm a failure. Remember, there are at least 18 million of us. One of them might be you.

Psycho Says: My name is also not "bipolar disorder," nor is it "borderline personality disorder." It is not "OCD." It is not "hoarding disorder." It is not "self injury." It is not "weirdo" or "loser." It is not "cutter." It is not "suicide attempt." I AM A PERSON!!!! I AM A HUMAN BEING!!!! I am a human being that is hurting very badly due to being thrown away like garbage time and again. I know I am not like other people. I know I will never be pretty or fun or thin or popular. I will never be loved. I guess I will never even be liked. But every now and then someone acts like they accept me and then that person becomes meaningful to me. Then when they abandon me it is all the worse.

I hate myself more than you could ever hate me, I guarantee it. 

 

Stolen & Abandoned

I stole this from the blog of Clinically Clueless. I hope they don't mind. It is so me.

I have such serious abandonment issues that whenever someone, even a periphery person, abandons me, I feel like my heart is being ripped out. The person doing the abandoning will say well your pain is not my problem, and they are right. But it doesn't hurt any less. I don't try to be a useless freak, I really don't. It isn't all my fault. I am straight up about who I am from the beginning. And some of these fuckers will say well that's okay I accept you how you are. BUT YOU REALLY FUCKING DON'T! And then you abandon me and this is the result.
Yes, I am really a mess. But if you can't take on a mess, don't take me on and then dump me. That is just fucking evil.

I want to love but it turns out wrong
I want to live but I don't belong
I close my eyes and I see blood and roses
(Blood & Roses: The Smithereens)

Bruises

When I hit my thigh with a hammer  I like watching  the blood spread under the skin to form a beautiful bruise.
I could never  do this to another person I cared about  or to an animal. Only to myself.
I am so bad
So bad
So bad
So ugly filthy worth less
spineless jelly
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE!!!!!

Can't keep on

I can't keep on like this. I am too sensitive for this world. I do not see much hope for my son and my pets either.
For those of you fuckers keen on calling the cops on people who have suicidal thoughts, I will tell you that I am only theorizing. I am wondering--only wondering--if gas really is painless. We could end it all very quickly. I believe in neither heaven nor hell. I believe that here is all there is, and that it really, really sucks.

Needs

I need someone who can take my cats and dogs and give the good homes, indoors only.
I need someone who can help guide my son, help him have a place to live, encourage him in getting an education.
I need to stop this shit now--this "living." I need to end this pain.

You win, or at least I lose

This is just a copy of a note from my Facebook page. So shoot me for being too fucking lazy to edit it.

Folks, I cannot do this shit any more. I am tired of people fighting with each other. I try to show kindness and the response I get in return is meanness. I want to be supportive of others but I have been unfriended for doing so--by someone I considered a friend for a long time. This hurts really badly. Forgive me if I keep my distance. It only hurts more when you let people in.
My father is dying slowly and awfully. I live in a house with no running water. I can't afford to get a new place or to repair this one. I have mental problems. Excuse me for having feelings. Excuse me for hurting when people cut me off because I am too damaged. Excuse me for existing.
I will keep posting the animal rescue stuff but other than that I'm only going to play with my virtual aquarium. I'm sorry, but I cannot allow myself to open up and be hurt any more.

True Colors

Every experience I have with people just shows me more and more that you can't trust. People will eventually stick the knife in. I guess I should thank people when they show their true colors. I just don't know why there has to be so much hate and ugliness. We are all hurting. Shouldn't we be kind to one another?

Must force self to do pathophysiology homework. Groan!

The Heartbreak of Borderline Personality Disorder

the one thing I've learned in the years since I found out that I wasn't just "high strung" or "mercurial" is that in spite of having this disease (bipolar disorder) that messes with part of my brain and makes me high strung and mercurial when I don't take Lithium, I am mostly normal (whatever that is) when I do take Lithium. I don't see this as any different conceptually than a diabetic taking insulin.
What is heartbreaking about having borderline personality disorder is the fact that I cannot get too close to people. I tend to be very paranoid and think that everyone is out to hurt me. I can have superficial relationships with people, but not close ones. I realized years ago that I couldn't have romantic relationships and I don't even want one at this point. It was somehow even harsher to realize that I can't even have close platonic friendships because I tend to become distrustful and fuck things up. That is the pain of my particular variety of mental illness--never being able to be close to people.

http://ping.fm/Y0ToR Want to make your head hurt? Read this.

http://ping.fm/XcwNw Tell me, wouldn't you want to hide your hands in shame for this?

I am totally sore from dealing with all this crap due to the busted water heater. I think I'm going to sneak in a quick nap.

Gore Porn

I always feel like something of a pariah because I'm one of the few horror fans that really doesn't like a lot of gore and tends to get annoyed with the seeming necessity of having tits and ass everywhere. I find it obtrusive. If there is actual reason for it in a story, fine, but I find that more often than not the gore and boobs are there to cover up the fact that there IS no story. Which in my view makes a movie gore porn and not horror. I like something that scares me on a deeper level, not something that just makes me go "ew."

Blooming Psycho's Funhouse: Plastic Kimmy Speaks Out About Botox http://ping.fm/32NI5

Plastic Kimmy Speaks Out About Botox

Kim Kardashian Kontradicts Herself Repeatedly in statements regarding her repeated Botox Use.

She looks like a Stepford wife and has the plastic personality to match. At 45, I've never had Botox and never will. Hello--it's a deadly bacteria, people! It causes paralysis of the muscles affected by it, which is why people who have had it end up with a perpetually surprised expression on their faces. Thanks anyway, I'd rather be able to show emotion.

I work in a retirement community and one of our residents with Parkinson's disease had Botox injected into her shoulder area to relieve muscle spasms. It ended up paralyzing her windpipe and she nearly died. This substance is not an innocuous little beauty cream. May I repeat, it is a deadly bacteria with the power to paralyze both smooth and skeletal muscle. Just sayin'.

PETA Has Bieber Fever at Deceiver.com http://ping.fm/3d0DY

One word of advice if a program invites you to get the mywebsearch toolbar: DON'T!!!! Somehow I downloaded this POS & can't get rid of it!

They have a little black dress sweepstakes in the sidebar. But what if you, like me, need a big black dress?

The Opposite of the High Life

It's fun being broke and having to live in shitholes, isn't it? I had one place where there was no hot water for a year and a half because the slum lord wouldn't get the boiler fixed. In my current place (overpriced mobile home) the hot water heater (the access to which was in the back of my son's closet as it turns out) blew out and spread water across three rooms. There's probably $20,000 in damages (which is about what I owe on this dump) and we don't dare turn on the water except to flush the toilet because otherwise it will start leaking again. Good times!

Blooming Psycho's Funhouse: A Letter to my Local Paper http://ping.fm/ULFQH

A Letter to my Local Paper

The preventable suicides of young people over their sexual orientation is tragic. No student should be bullied because s/he is gay or because s/he is perceived as being gay. School should be a place for learning, not a battle ground. Bullying due to sexual orientation or for any other reason must not be tolerated. I was bullied mercilessly when I was in school and it still affects me to this day. I was not homosexual, but this makes no difference. I feel for these students who day in and day out fear for their safety simply because of their sexual orientation (or perceived sexual orientation.) All students need to be educated that gay people are simply people, and all schools need to have and enforce a zero tolerance policy for bullying.

Human Rights Campaign: Stop the suicides: Help put an end to bullying in schools! http://ping.fm/p3jsc

Animal Anarchy: Cock and Pussy Action http://ping.fm/Q9joe

Animal Anarchy: Terrorist Sock Spider http://ping.fm/q0giU

Student Loan Debt A Millstone

Yep...I'm in school less than half time this semester so I've had to start paying off my student loans until I go back full time. $200 dollars a month, Kiddies, and my take home pay is only around $1400 a month. Yet I can't qualify for food stamps because my gross pay is $2200 a month. I've been eating a lot of fucking macaroni and cheese and cold cuts of late.

Internet Bullying and Tragedy

I cannot imagine what would have happened in my case if we had the Internet when I was young. I was very sensitive and as it turned out undiagnosed bipolar and borderline. I made my first somewhat half-assed suicide attempt at 13. I started cutting when I was 15. I was straight and really didn't care when people spread the rumor that I was a lesbian, but it did bother me when they spread rumors that I was slutty. I actually was not. I lost my virginity at 16 to a guy that I thought I loved who turned out to be too immature to handle the relationship. I cut my wrists over his subsequent behavior towards me and ended up in the psych ward for a weekend. I was bullied pretty badly throughout school. But as bad as it was, I cannot believe what these kids go through these days. The people that shamed this young man (or who shame any person, gay or straight, in this fashion) should be held accountable for their part in this.

Otto the octopus wrecks havoc - Telegraph http://ping.fm/wJh4o

The 7 Most Incredible Crime Sprees Carried Out by Animals | Cracked.com http://ping.fm/ae9r7

I just squeaked in for approval for an FHA loan and we are hoping to buy a house--a real house, not a mobile home--about 10 miles from here.

Thoughts on the Illegal Immigration Problem

I voted Democrat and will likely do so again. I have in most elections. It is not that I have an issue with Mexicans as a whole. Most of the people in my neighborhood are Mexican or Mexican-American. As a Caucasian, I'm in the minority here. My neighbors are great people and I have no issues with any of them. My direct next door neighbor is originally from Mexico City and he is a kind, helpful person who has assisted me with many handyman type tasks that I couldn't do myself. However, I have a problem with the illegals. My brother works as a firefighter/paramedic and SWAT medic in Tucson. He tells me about the horrific problems they have with drug trafficking down in Tucson. It is an awful problem. This is not a Republican vs. Democrat issue or a Conservative vs. Liberal issue. It is not an anti-Latino stance. I don't want to keep the law-abiding Mexican immigrants out. I don't want the drug traffickers and criminals coming in.

Checking my email is like checking my weight. Both are depressing. That's why I tend to avoid doing either.

Death of a Feedlot Operator | Watts Up With That? http://ping.fm/qgye3

Everything Your Parents Told You About Studying Is Wrong http://ping.fm/uwSdV

Isis the Pyro Kat just came and put her paw down on the 6 key to type 666. Her fur smells of brimstone. I am convinced Isis is Basement cat!

Worked in the storage unit for a couple of hours to the point of being overheated and pukey. Storage Unit lookin' good. House still a mess.

http://ping.fm/0shRC Zombie kitteh wants to eat wabbit's braaaain! (cat washing rabbit's head/ears.)

http://ping.fm/g1h4D The Persian kitten wants to play with the bunny, but the bunny's not having it.

http://ping.fm/7ZAR7 This kitten's choice of toys is a bit overwhelming.

http://ping.fm/6cBBT A randy rabbit turns the tables on a kitten that attacks it. The kitten is not amused.

This cracked me up. After the "cat humps wolf mask" video, a link appeared from shopping.com advertising "people mating with animals." Ewww!

http://ping.fm/Kxshf Cat on wolf mask action

http://ping.fm/1Ltz2 This cat kneads his hat.

http://ping.fm/EU6Z6 The funniest thing about this is how Cat #2 just sits there and watches.

http://ping.fm/0xwS8 Kittens with squirrel siblings

http://ping.fm/kMVOo I've shared this before but it's worth sharing again. Cuteness!

http://ping.fm/84uk8 Psycho advice regarding the epidemic of FB cam girls.

Webcam Chiquitas on Facebook

Gawd...first they spammed up Twitter, now they're trying their tactics on Facebook. I'm pretty open about friending people, but I gotta tell you, Folks, if some young chickie who has no mutual friends and whom you don't know in real life sends you a friendship request, my guess is she's a Webcam girl. I've never had to unfriend anyone on Facebook until now. However, I sent her this friendly message--and I'm not being sarcastic, it actually is friendly. 

Psycho to Webcam Girl:

Honey, I don't wish ill on you, but I don't need to be wasting friend slots on Webcam girls. I'm not sure if "openhotvideos" is webcam, but I don't need to go there to know it's close enough. A bit of advice--nobody likes spam, and people will be less likely to buy what you're selling when you utilize this tactic. Also, you might try to target your audience a little better. A middle-aged straight woman isn't likely to be searching for twenty-something webcam girls to help her make it through the night.

Best wishes,

Psycho

Hack! Cough! It's always bone dry in this place (work.) I've already quaffed a quart of water since arriving at 10.

Same-sex marriage will hurt families, society - CNN.com http://ping.fm/0Jh1f

Bullet Ants - The Most Painful Sting in the World • VideoSift: Online Video *Quality Control http://ping.fm/TezKg

Bermuda Triangle Mystery Solved http://ping.fm/4SrfI

Tara the Carb-loving Cat will have what you're having, as long as it involves bread of some kind. Bread, muffins, cake, it's all fair game.

http://ping.fm/eLrVO If you are on Facebook PLEASE REPORT THIS FUCKING PAGE!!!

Parent and Child

A Facebook friend's poem made me think, and this is what I thought.

It makes me think of a bit of my relationship with my son. I have lived with mental illness (bipolar disorder, incorrectly diagnosed until I was 38) and although I tried to be a good mother when he was younger my problems were often overwhelming. I think I'm a good mother now but my troubles put me behind where I should be. We live in a rather marginalized fashion and are trying to both do things to improve our lot in life. My hope is that his kids, should he have them, will not have the kind of chaotic life he did in his childhood. He can talk about it with me and he isn't angry any more, but he says he feels he didn't have much of a childhood, which is heartbreaking. His father (whom I've been divorced from since 1994, but who in some fashion I've often ended up having to take care of in one way or another) has mental problems too and I've always been the more mature parent--which is scary, since for most of my life I didn't feel like a functioning adult!

Wow, that was a rant--hope you don't mind. The poem brought things out.

Some People Care

Commenter "Mark" says: You still around?? America has moved on. The media has moved on, the fed has moved on. We are a my way right away ADD short term memory spoiled nation. This is old news bud. Good luck with getting Americans to focus long enough to engage in... anything, let a lone a boycott.

Good luck. 

Psycho says:

Well, Mark, some people care about the welfare of the planet. Just because there are a lot of people walking around with their eyes closed and their heads firmly implanted where the sun don't shine doesn't mean that all of us are like that. There is still much that need to be done, and thank whatever higher power there may be that there are people who care enough to do it.

Borderline Idealization and Devaluation in Relationships

Watch the video here.

I decided long ago that due to my condition attempting to have a romantic relationship was detrimental, and I have been better without one. What is discouraging is seeing the trouble in platonic relationships. I have a very hard time getting close to people.

 

For those who don't know me, please don't tell me how "sad" it is that I have "given up" on romance. I have been a lot less "sad" since having done so. And don't tell me how "unhealthy" it is to live without sex. I don't care about sex, and again, I have been a lot happier without it. These types of relationships have never been anything but negative and destructive for me. It does, however, bother me that I can't seem to have platonic friendships without some of the same troubles creeping in. Borderline personality disorder is very destructive to intimacy of any kind.

Man Hating Feminists

I am a feminist who has never seen the sense in being a man hater. There are certain men that I've disliked, but they've always given me good reason. Man-hating is the feminine equivalent of misogyny. If I don't like it when it's directed at me, why would I want to direct it at someone else? At the end of the day we're all human--although with the behavior some exhibit I'm at times kind of embarrassed by that fact.

http://ping.fm/YUVIa?aid=192793&id=642087270 Please share and get the word out to help them!

Wandering confused lady has a caregiver tonight. Now, if Parkinson's Guy doesn't fall and CHF guy doesn't have concentrator problems, cool!

http://ping.fm/Fdmx4 Sisters On The Fly

Working Poor Happiness is when your co-worker very kindly shares their taco bell with you. :-)

http://ping.fm/Zha96?aid=33051&id=159945489966 Please check these fellows out. Spread the word, or adopt!

http://ping.fm/bP4rB 10 red flags when looking for a cat boarder.

I feel that my "career" is twofold, as a mother and a writer in that order. My job is the night shift caregiver gig. I'm very over it.

"I love my career and my family, but I hate my job and my life."--Step Fletcher (Protagonist, Orson Scott Card's Lost Boys)

I Write Like David Foster Wallace http://ping.fm/aD7VD

I Write Like James Joyce http://ping.fm/5dhpv

Craptastic--I can't believe it's already a quarter to six. Another action packed night of work awaits...damn.

Toxoplasmosis : Worms and Germs Blog http://ping.fm/MRsl1

Could What is on Your Purse Kill You? - Associated Content - associatedcontent.com http://ping.fm/xyyJd

Fifty Ugliest Cars of the Past 50 Years: A Half-Century of Automotive Eyesores - BusinessWeek http://ping.fm/RUTwH

How Antibiotic Resistance Works - Live Science | e! Science News http://ping.fm/Gcklw

Low levels of antibiotics cause multidrug resistance in 'superbugs' | e! Science News http://ping.fm/G4vIN

I wish I was friends with a massage therapist who owed me a favor. Helping unsteady residents off the floor + taking old TV to curb = OUCH!

Cracking The Code | Mark's Daily Apple http://ping.fm/4r9xj

http://ping.fm/dVj8Z Time to target the senate on this!

I officially hate this "lite" version of BOC's "Burning For You" featured in this Lincoln Town Car ad. It is a sign of the the Apocalypse!

I swear some cats understand exactly what you say. I referred to Lafayette as the "little interruption" and he gave the most indignant meow.

Finally had to oust Lafayette from my lap, where he was washing himself. Have to take son over to community college to meet with adviser. :)

Tunnel of Fudge Cake from Pillsbury.com http://ping.fm/DPMGe

http://ping.fm/cZeFm repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse can surface later.

Cool! Interstellar disaster stuff on "Unfolding Universe."

Animal Anarchy: What Am I? http://ping.fm/xmh5u

Late Night at the Horror Hotel: New Hires at the Horror Hotel?? http://ping.fm/JTIiB

Dear Facebook Sidebar: No, I am NOT going to "like" the "Twilight Saga" no matter how many times you thrust it at me! Now cut it out!

Got another shelf out of the storage room & over to the storage unit, donated my old hockey equipment to the Y, and still so much to do.

I don't have really bad arthritis in my hands, luckily, but all this moving I've been doing has been making the joints quite stiff. Crunchy!

Scientists Rediscovered Mysterious Cell Structure: the Nucleolinus http://ping.fm/APnXb

Blooming Psycho's Funhouse: Horror Blogger's Meme http://ping.fm/avKpR

Horror Blogger's Meme

I am not a horror blogger. My blog being horrible does not make me one. But I love horror and I love memes. So I'm doing this one which was created by Pax Romano of Billy Loves Stu, who is a very cool person and is a horror blogger. His blog is not horrible. He describes his meme thusly:

"a Meme for horror bloggers to complete so that the next time someone stumbles across the electronic journal of a burgeoning Pauline Kael, or Stephen King-wanna-be; the reader might get a better idea of where this bloody blogger is coming from."

Well, I am kind of a Stephen King wannabe. But I am not (I repeat) a horror blogger. I hope no actual horror bloggers take exception to a usurper such as myself enjoying this. For the most part, horror bloggers are cool people. But unfortunately there are some who are elitist snobs who seem to have the attitude that only certain select individuals are good enough to join their amazing secret society. If one of them happens upon this and gets upset because I am not a true horror blogger, too fucking bad. May they not be one of the first to be eaten by Cthulhu when the stars are right.

Everyone knows, after all, that its best to be eaten first.

Here is the meme.

1: In Ten Words or Less, Describe Your Blog:

A steaming pile of crap spewed by a certified psycho.

2: During What Cinematic Era Where you Born?

                                            A: The Classic Horror Era (late 30's to 40's)

                                            B: The Atomic Monster/Nuclear Angst Era (the late 40's through 50's)

                                            C: The Psycho Era ( Early 60's)

                                            D: The Rosemary's Baby Era (Mid to Late 60's)

                                            E: The Exorcism Era (Early to mid 70's)

                                            F: The Halloween Era (Late 70's to Early 80's)

                                            G: The Slasher Era (Mid to late 80's)

                                            H: The Self Referential/Post Modern Era (1990 to 1999) 

 The Rosemary's Baby/Viet Nam era. I was born in 1965.

                                    

3: The Carrie Compatibility Question:

                                           (gay men and straight women - make your choice from section A)

                                           A: Billy Nolan or Tommy Ross, who would you take to the prom?

                                           (straight guys and lesbians - make your choice from section B)

                                           B: Sue Snell or Chris Hargensen, who would you take to the prom?

Tommy Ross. He's a nicer guy.

4: You have been given an ungodly amount of money, and total control of a major motion picture studio - what would your dream Horror project be?

to turn my own writing into film--duh!

5: What horror film "franchise" that others have embraced, left you cold?

Twatlight! 

Need I say more?

6:  Is Michael Bay the Antichrist?

Maybe not the Antichrist but he does seem the antithesis to a movie that is based on anything but a desire to earn money.

7: Dracula, The Wolf Man, The Frankenstein Monster - which one of these classic villains scares you, and why?

The Wolf Man. I'm afraid of big dogs. Seriously.

8: Tell me about a scene from a NON HORROR Film that scares the crap out of you:

At my advanced age, its embarrassing to admit that I'm afraid of being in pitch darkness. I'm also claustrophobic. And I'm afraid of suffocation. The scene in Titanic where Rose and Jack are trying to save that kid and they go below decks and the water is pouring in. I keep thinking how dark it would be if the lights go out, and to be trapped in the tight corridor with the water pouring in--GAAAAHHHH! I am never going on a motherfuckin' boat! Besides, I get seasick.

9: Baby Jane Hudson invites you over to her house for lunch.  What do you bring?

A nice bottle of wine and some GHB to lace it with. Not because I want to molest her, but because while she's whacked out on GHB, I'd rescue Blanche.

10: So, between you and me, do you have any ulterior motives for blogging?  Come, on you can tell me, it will be our little secret, I won't tell a soul. 

Mostly to blow off steam and get out some of the shit that's on my mind that I don't have a therapist for right now. But shamefully, it's also because I'm a very lonely person who tends to be misunderstood and though the hope has mostly died, I feel that somewhere out there, there may just be someone who gets where I'm coming from and would actually want to be my friend. Not just a superficial friend but a real one.

11: What would you have brought to Rosemary Woodhouse's baby shower?

Hoofmaker salve maybe. It's best for man and beast.

12: Godzilla vs The Cloverfield Monster, who wins?

Godzira! Godzira! Godzira!

13: If you found out that Rob Zombie was reading your blog, what would you post in hopes that he read it?

Rob, you rule! Well, I've never seen your films but your music rules. And your artwork rules. If I ever get to make a film, I want you to make the sound track. I love you!

14: What is your favorite NON HORROR FILM, and why?

There are a lot of them, just like there are a lot of horror films. I can't really pick a favorite.

15: If blogging technology did not exist, what would you be doing?

Writing my shitty opinions in a journal and trying to get magazines to publish my shit that wasn't just worthless spewing.

Take that, lab report. I owned you! Well, I won't know for sure until I get the grade, but for the moment, you are owned.

Relief For Sleep Paralysis | Patient Health http://ping.fm/dbJBz

Symptoms Of Fatal Insomnia | Patient Health http://ping.fm/U12h6

Enough pharting around figuring out what goddess I am and whether I should smite everyone. I need to make a semi-important call.

http://ping.fm/hcTMH Cats rescued from animal hoarding situation in Elk County need homes

Dear Facebook Sidebar ads: No, I'm not going to "like" your ad for "Sending your kids back to school" no matter how much you put it there!

Animal Anarchy: What Would the Cow Think? http://ping.fm/3pluQ

Rott-n-kids Rottweilers - Advertise cheap & help Rottie rescue http://ping.fm/pmgJi

Blooming Psycho's Funhouse: Jump on the Anti-Gay Short Bus http://ping.fm/Ds02m

Jump on the Anti-Gay Short Bus

The NOM short bus is currently touring the country spreading its homophobic message. Amanda Hess writes about it here.

MissaA said: The bus looks angry…

Psycho says:
@MissaA: That bus also looks stooooopid!
I'm heterosexual and morons like this make me wish I was gay. They're the sort who seem to think you can catch "gay cooties" and "turn queer."
Why heterosexuals would be threatened by gay marriage is completely beyond me.

NOM Mandatory Heterosexuality Tour Hits Maryland - The Sexist - Washington City Paper http://ping.fm/ndf2q

Women Don't Attend Concerts for the Music--We Do It For the Groping

 A response to another post by Amanda Hess on the Sexist, in relation to a remark by a loser--I mean, groper. Oh...they're the same thing. 

Here is a selection from the article:

Izzy gropes to teach girls a lesson! “Any girl that goes crowd surfing either wants to be groped or is too fucking stupid to realize that that’s all that’s going to happen and deserves to get groped for her stupidity,” he writes. Here, groping is seen as a punishment for women who have an expectation of personal safety at rock concerts. But which came first—the man who groped the woman, or the woman who was too fucking stupid to realize that the man was going to grope her, forcing him to grope her? The world may never know.

Here is the Psycho Response:

Gropers are losers. Period. No more can be said about them. There is no defense for such creepy, vile behavior.
Regarding going to concerts, wow, I guess I'm naive. Imagine, all this time I thought I was going to have a good time, listen to some music, dance a bit, in my younger day maybe have a toke, as I got older, maybe have a beer. But nooooo. I was, in fact, there because I was asking to be groped. Because a woman can't be a fan of Pantera (Rest in peace, Dimebag Darrell) or AC/DC or whomever. If she is at a concert, she is obviously a slag who is asking for it.

Groping Is Sexual Assault

 A response to a post by Amanda Hess on "The Sexist."

Nobody should be groping anybody who is not a willing participant. Men should not be groping unwilling people, male or female. And women should not feel that they can get a free pass to grope men (or other women.) The laws need to be tougher on this type of sexual assault, it sounds like. Probably a lot of people don't report it out of embarrassment, figuring "it was just a grab, the cops will just laugh at me." But it is a form of sexual assault.
It is a positive thing for women to take some form of self-defense training to give themselves confidence to fend off such attacks.
There was an incident back in my youth where I was talking to a friend while standing on the sidewalk and a man drove up across the street from us, parked his truck, jumped out and started masturbating. We ignored him and he got back into the truck and drove away. This type gets off on people expressing horror or disgust at his actions. Even though it was not as upsetting as being groped against my will (which has happened) it still left me with a "dirty" feeling like I needed to bathe in Clorox while scrubbing the top layer of skin away with a Brillo pad. (No, I did not do this.)
Re: "Rick Magnus" I don't know if you're a misogynist, a troll, or both. But you're certainly a jerk.

A good, healthy breakfast of leftover Chinese food should be just the thing to kick-start the fun of doing a microbiology report!

Will allow self to play silly games AFTER completing lab report. Will have to flog self if self does not get busy soon!

Another 95 degree scorcher ahead. Yuck. Blah. Must remember to turn swamp cooler from vent to cool before temps reach blazing.

Need to work on my last beastly lab report for my microbiology class. There's still another 3 weeks of class but no more reports after this!

I really hope I don't end up having to be here till 2 PM after having been here all night. Day person called @last minute w/no babysitter.

Stress Sucks

Women naturally more susceptible to stress http://ping.fm/6ztQf

My stress levels are extremely high and I've been having bad heart palpitations. I suppose among all the other shit I have to do I'm supposed to wedge in a doctor's appointment. I finally got to sleep about 8 AM this morning and slept till one. Given a few days/nights of adequate rest, the palpitations might stop. But of course I have to work again tonight...and the night after...and the night after. My only nights off are Monday and Wednesday, plus I'm taking this microbiology course. Sometimes I wish for the Death Asteroid to come splatter me.

Happiness is a warm cat in your lap--until said cat farts.

What does it mean when Flavor Flav shows up in your dream wearing a lime green suit?

Playing the penny stocks, dreaming of finding the next Xerox. Will alternative energy source providers be the way? We shall see!

Proof that I'm in hell--the Weather Bug has reported the temperature as 66.6 (Fahrenheit) for the past 6 hours!

Distractability Gets In The Way of Fame

This was my response to a really cool article by Zoe, who has ADHD.

You and I have a lot in common, except my problem is bipolar disorder rather than ADHD. It also makes for difficulty concentrating and I tend to be easily distracted. I've also worked very hard on not being late for appointments and for me that is a huge triumph. And I would also like to be rich and famous in spite of myself. I hope we win the lottery! That might not make us famous, but at least we'll be rich! ;-)

ADHD: incurable? Yes. Manageable? Probably.Improvements? Definitely. | ADHD from A to Zoë http://ping.fm/oEd50

Queer Duck--he's intellectual. Queer Duck--he's homosexual. Please don't think that he's perverse, he's the patient's favorite male nurse!

Love these Annie's Sour Cream & Onion Bunnies--too much!

Well crap...suppose I'd best get going to see the parents. It's my mother's birthday. I just feel unmotivated to drive 25 miles right now.

Queer Duck http://ping.fm/kL2pD

Stomach growling--taking on a life of its own. Time for dinner soon, I think.

Chivalry, sexism, and Dr. Laura

This was my response to a post on one of my favorite blogs, The Sexist.

The best thing I've ever seen with "Dr. Laura" is the Queer Duck episode wherein she takes the place of the Twilight Gremlin on the plane wing. That truly embodies the essence of Dr. Laura.
Each person is responsible for his or her own conduct on his or her own behalf. Dignity is something to be determined and maintained by the individual for their own sake, not for the benefit of others. Certainly feminine dignity is the responsibility of the woman on behalf of herself, not on behalf of the patriarchy. Chivalry is a sexist concept anyway. It assumes that women are too weak and stupid to take care of or think for ourselves. This is opposed to courtesy, which is a concept that should apply to all of us. Opening the door for someone is a courtesy, for instance. One person does it as a kindness for another. But we women should not be standing around waiting for men to open doors for us, or do anything else for us either. We need to be doing what needs to be done for ourselves. Sure, Prince Charming may show up sometime. But in my experience, he's likely to be gay! ;-)

Just remembered that nonsense from the good ole Satanic Panic daze about Kiss standing for "Kings in Satan's Service." What imagination!

I suppose it's cheesy, but I love this Dr. Pepper ad with Kiss and Mini Kiss.

Sorry if some of my links ended up repeating themselves. You have to jump through freaking hoops to log into the stupid Huffington Post!

Miley Cyrus Not Trying to be Slutty but Succeeding

Miley Cyrus: 'I'm Not Trying To Be Slutty' http://ping.fm/N34kz

She says as she goes onstage wearing this and a whole department store worth of makeup. Where the hell are this girl's parents? I would be telling her to put on a damn skirt or pair of pants with this get-up! And lest anyone think I have a double standard in my thinking, if I had a son who wore his pants down around his thighs so his boxer-clad ass was hanging out, I'd be telling him to pull them up! Fortunately my son always had the sense to wear real pants.
Seriously, I would feel naked wearing the Miley get-up on stage. This is only appropriate for the swimming pool. So unless she's performing at a pool party, this outfit is completely inappropriate.

Yes, if she was performing at a pool party or beach party, what she's wearing is acceptable. Otherwise, were I her mother, I would insist that she put on a skirt, a decent pair of shorts (not skin-tight camel toe inducing ones) or a pair of pants. I would like to know where this girl's parents are. I would not allow my seventeen year old daughter to perform looking like a go-go dancer.
Before anyone accuses me of a double standard, I would hold my son to the same standards. Only boys are usually not encouraged to be sexpots in this society.
Miley is too young to know it but she could be a very positive role model for girls by showing that they do not have to fall into the trap of thinking they need to put themselves on display as sex objects. It is perfectly possible to be attractive and appealing without wearing clothing that is too revealing or suggestive. I'm not much for "pop tarts" in general, but I would say that from what I recall, Hillary Duff never did the "sexpot" thing. I would much rather have a daughter or granddaughter admiring someone like her than trying to emulate what Miley is becoming.
Where is Dad in all this? She's still young enough that he could tell her to put on some actual clothes when she performs. As I said, that outfit is appropriate--if she's performing at a beach party. Otherwise, no. Her father doesn't seem like he gives a rat's patoot that his daughter is performing dressed like a go-go dancer. I think he may be living vicariously through her since his spotlight dwindled years ago.

Creepiosity: A Hilarious Guide To The Unintentionally Creepy http://ping.fm/SKjaU

Don Rickles And Ozzy Osbourne: A Match Made In Heaven (VIDEO) http://ping.fm/q4c1F

Deer Smooches Cat In Unlikely Love Fest (VIDEO) http://ping.fm/hSRjL

Would never get a caricature drawing done. For some reason they always make me look old, fat, and frumpy even though I'm youthful and lovely

Street Portraits Gone Wrong: The Funniest Caricature Drawings Ever (PICTURES) http://ping.fm/8Xhuc

FTC launches credit report band ads http://ping.fm/2QT8D

Ugh--it's hot to the point of puke. I really don't like the heat very well. If that makes me a curmudgeon, so be it. I already was one!

Lafayette is freaking out, rolling around and attacking my scrub top while making trilling sounds-and he hasn't even had catnip! What gives?

Is the FreeCreditReport.com Band Breaking Up? - MJwycha - Open Salon http://ping.fm/niiqQ

Fathers Day

I was touched by the words and photo with this post about fathers and wanted to make mention about some of the fathers in my life, both past and present.

My father is still alive. He is 74 years old. He had a major hemorrhagic stroke 6 years ago on June 6. We are sure he has had other smaller strokes since then because his cognitive function has declined. In the beautiful photo in the post that I have linked to there is a 78 year old man holding his great grandson. I doubt that my father will be alive when his great grandchildren are born. My son is 20 and is not currently involved, nor is he in any hurry to have children. 

My great grandfathers had all died before I was born. I got to know two great grandmothers, one on my mother's side and one on my father's. One of my paternal great grandfathers was a lieutenant in the Czar's army before coming to the United States, where he would work as a butcher. During the Depression he would give people meat and tell them to pay him back when they could. According to my father, every single one of them made good.

One of my maternal great grandfathers was a farmer in upstate New York. He ended up developing septicemia after gouging his arm on a nail, and this killed him. 

My paternal grandfather was a veterinarian, working primarily with large animals. He worked for many of the racetracks around the New York area. He is the grandfather that I knew best. He died when I was twelve from a heart attack. He was 64. He had scarlet fever in childhood, which weakened his heart at an early age.

I did not know my maternal grandfather well. I mostly remember him sending me things from his vacation home in Florida, which would become his permanent home in the last years of his life. He sent me shark's teeth and other such things. He was somewhat estranged from his own children and thus not very close to his grandchildren either. He left my grandmother for another woman while my mother and aunt were still in high school. My grandmother had a nervous breakdown, and so the household tasks fell to my mother, who was the eldest. My aunt rebelled and ran wild. She recalls my mother locking her in her room and my aunt sneaked out the window to go driving around with her boyfriend.

My father has a good soul but a propensity for driving other people crazy with his obsessiveness. I always felt like I could never do well enough to please him. The truth is that nobody, including himself, can ever do well enough. Unlike me, he would not, and at this point probably cannot, acknowledge that he has a psychiatric issue: obsessive-compulsive disorder. My father used to come into my house unannounced and start picking things up and throwing things out. The one positive to the stroke, I'm sorry to say, is he can't just come over any more. I hated when he would do this and I would end up screaming at him. This was also in the days before I knew I was bipolar and began taking Lithium, so I would really lose it. I have some fond memories of my father, but this is not one of them.

My ex husband is creating a huge chasm between himself and our son by his behavior. I have warned him that his actions are having negative consequences on his relationship with his son, but he won't listen. My ex husband quit his job near to 8 years ago now. I told him not to quit unless he had another job, but he did. He hasn't worked since then. For a while he was helping his aunt and uncle in Montana and then he came back here. He had noplace to live. He asked if he could stay in the spare room "for a couple of months." This was back in December. He is due to go back to Montana in July because we can no longer tolerate his presence. Our son at this point refers to his father as "a whacko," and says that when he has kids he doesn't think he wants them to meet their grandfather. He is ashamed of the fact that his father really hasn't worked in 8 years. He says that when he was in high school and people asked what his parents did, he would say "my mother works night shift at a nursing home." If they pursued and asked, "what does your father do?" he would say "he work(ed) at the newspaper," not enunciating the "ed" part of "worked" clearly. The thing is, we have tried to get him to go into counseling, and if he lifted a finger to help around the house it would be different. He doesn't. And while I may be Oscar Madison's spiritual daughter, this man is more than a slob, he is the most socially inappropriate individual you could ever imagine: scratching, farting, belching, spitting...

I can't wait till he leaves. And I did warn him that unless he cleaned up his act, his relationship with his son would suffer.

My brother never had any kids, but I feel the need to mention him. Because of him, there are people whose kids are still in this world with them. He is a firefighter/paramedic and he has saved a lot of lives. So in a sense when we celebrate father's day, we should give thanks to those people who allow fathers to have more time with their kids--whether those people are fathers or not.

Hopefully your relationships with your fathers are more good than bad, or if not, hopefully there has been a decent surrogate father figure in your life. If neither of these are true, then I salute you for having had to parent yourself. You did a better job than you could imagine, I'll wager.

Cheers.

Blooming Psycho's Funhouse: Self Injury Not Necessarily Evidence of Suicide Attempt http://ping.fm/jsUsm

Self Injury Not Necessarily Evidence of Suicide Attempt

Rather than attempting to end their lives, people who self-harm are surviving and managing intolerable and emotionally painful lives.  They don’t necessarily want to die, nor do they often see happiness as attainable.  They just want to stop feeling miserable.

When someone experiences the numbness of repeated trauma, the tissue damage, physical pain and blood from injuring yourself can be a reminder of life. Behaviors such as burning and cutting help to control emotion and obtain help from an indifferent or punishing environment.
The difference that emerges between suicide attempts and self-injury is in intention and lethality. In one study non-suicidal acts of self-harm were reported as intended to express anger, punish oneself, generate normal feelings and distract oneself.  In contrast, the most often reported intention of suicide attempts was to make others better off.
Self-injury, therefore, can be seen as inadequate solutions to overwhelming, intensely painful emotion.  On the other hand, suicide attempts include self-injurious acts or acts with potential for harm (for example, putting a gun in your mouth) that have an explicit or inferred intent to die as a result of the act.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/dbt/2010/06/is-it-a-suicide-attempt-or-self-injury/

This was my response to the post:

I started self-injuring as a teenager. It is under control at this point (I am now 45) but the urge still rises when things go really wrong. I have never really dealt with the underlying issues that caused this behavior to begin. Compassionate, effective mental health assistance is still unattainable for many of us. The county facilities need to serve the more critically ill among us, and private treatment is not affordable for many of us who are managing to hold jobs but still live in marginalized circumstances.
I was not trying to kill myself when I was put in the hospital at 16 for a suicide attempt and humiliated and treated as less than human by most of the so called "professionals" there. I was dubbed a "hysterical neurotic" by the clown of a psychiatrist who "treated" me. Fortunately when my son started having problems with depression he was treated in a compassionate fashion and thus has been willing to seek help. I think it is no surprise, however, that many older people with mental health issues are reluctant to seek help (providing we could even afford it) given the way we have been treated when we did so in the past.

Over 40? Digestive system beginning to suck? Avoid the Hormel hot & spicy chili, or plan on plenty of visits to the Porcelain Altar!

An Ode to Street Harassers: “Fuck You, So Much” - The Sexist - Washington City Paper http://ping.fm/01Dtw

D.C.’s Street Harassment Confrontation Gap - The Sexist - Washington City Paper http://ping.fm/bAv0D

Folks, I found a cure for insomnia! I forced myself to watch Twilight. Can anyone say "duller than dirt?" How do people stay awake thru it?

I'm trying to convince my kitten (more of a teenage cat, I think) Lafayette to do my homework for me, but he isn't stepping up to the task.

Mental Illness: The Good Side!

This was a response to an article on Cracked, a 'zine which takes otherwise horrific topics and makes them fun.

This explains a lot about religion, and also convinces me that I should go down in history as amazing. I have OCD, bipolar disorder (which contributes to insane levels of creativity during the hypomanic phase,) borderline personality disorder (works great for acting, which, unfortunately, I haven't been able to do in about 20 years due to my schedule at work,) and panic disorder. Okay, I haven't figured out any benefit to the panic disorder, but the others actually have a positive side. Now start worshiping my mad genius. 

 

I didn't mention this in my comment, but the down side to all of these disorders is that they tend to make me easily distracted from what's really important, so sometimes I have trouble completing tasks, especially if I'm not really interested in them. I'm having a hell of a time with this damn microbiology course, for instance. The subject matter is interesting, but I hate the way the class is set up. I don't do well with hard deadlines. Its stressing me out big time.