Misplaced Anti-Feminism Leads to Tragedy

This is my response to a post by JennInCanada on her blog, Fat and Unafraid, commemorating the one year anniversary of the killing of multiple women at the Polytechnique School in Montreal. I wanted to post it on the blog entry but for some reason her blog is being uncooperative!

The erroneous idea that women who identify as feminists are all "man-hating femi-nazis" is, I believe, a throwback to the idea that women are supposed to be subservient to men rather than being independent and self-sufficient. It is very sad that this archaic notion manifested itself in such tragedy.

This is my favorite quote about feminism. It definitely applies to my thoughts on the matter.

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a door mat or a prostitute. ~Rebecca West, "Mr Chesterton in Hysterics: A Study in Prejudice," The Clarion, 14 Nov 1913, reprinted in The Young Rebecca, 1982

One day all people will be treated equal and then there will be no need to identify as a feminist if one believes in equal treatment and opportunities for females. Until then, I am not about to be one of those apologists out of whose mouth falls the words "I'm not a feminist, but I believe that women should be afforded the same opportunities as men."

If you believe that, then you damn well are a feminist, whether you are male or female. Don't be afraid to wear the title proudly.

On Beauty, Shallowness, and Romance

This is a response to a poignant, painful post by Shannon of the fabulous Fierce, Freethinking Fatties blog.

 I was never considered pretty even when I was thin. At this point in my life I do not seek romance because I have mental health issues that make it impossible. Borderline personality disorder and romantic attachment make a very poor combination. I can’t take care of myself when I’m hung up on some guy–invariably a jerk.

I wouldn’t want guys drooling over me and thinking of me as a “babe” and a “hottie.” I am a very modest person and uncomfortable with that sort of lecherousness. However, in spite of it all, just once I would like to be seen as attractive. I guess it affects us all.

Chivalry, sexism, and Dr. Laura

This was my response to a post on one of my favorite blogs, The Sexist.

The best thing I've ever seen with "Dr. Laura" is the Queer Duck episode wherein she takes the place of the Twilight Gremlin on the plane wing. That truly embodies the essence of Dr. Laura.
Each person is responsible for his or her own conduct on his or her own behalf. Dignity is something to be determined and maintained by the individual for their own sake, not for the benefit of others. Certainly feminine dignity is the responsibility of the woman on behalf of herself, not on behalf of the patriarchy. Chivalry is a sexist concept anyway. It assumes that women are too weak and stupid to take care of or think for ourselves. This is opposed to courtesy, which is a concept that should apply to all of us. Opening the door for someone is a courtesy, for instance. One person does it as a kindness for another. But we women should not be standing around waiting for men to open doors for us, or do anything else for us either. We need to be doing what needs to be done for ourselves. Sure, Prince Charming may show up sometime. But in my experience, he's likely to be gay! ;-)