Porn Star Action Figures

Chuck of Zombies Don't Run suggested that these anatomically correct porn star action figures could be used to have the infamous "Birds and Bees" talk with your kid. Which is a pretty good idea except I had one question, because they seemed to only be made in female versions.

Do they have dude ones? Because unless you're going to give the "birds and bees" talk about women who reproduce the way those lizards that can fertilize their eggs without the assistance of a male do, it's gonna be kind of awkward to explain how the woman has her offspring. Unless the Virgin Mary is looking a lot spicier than she did in the bible stories I read!

Psycho: Naked???

This was a response to a letter that a photographer friend of mine, Walt Cessna, received. You can also discover more about Walt on his blog.

It's a wonderful photo, and I was struck by the words in the letter too. People probably find it hard to believe, but I used to model for art schools, and no, I was never hot or sexy. I had a kangaroo pouch belly with stretch marks, my butt and thighs are large, and my boobs are average sized and never enhanced. I have never done erotic modeling--who the hell would want to see a 45 year old fat woman with gray hair doing anything erotic--but I honestly have no problems with the idea of nude modeling. We are born naked, ain't we?

I wish that people would have a more natural attitude about our bodies. Fat or thin, old or young, we all have a certain beauty. 

I think that's what I really like about your work. It's natural, never forced. Kudos!

Maybe Not Lazy

I would like to share this great post by my blog friend Kate White on Healthy Place blogs about "laziness" and depression. I will also share my reply.

In my teen years I constantly heard how lazy I was. I always felt like if I couldn’t be perfect I shouldn’t try at all. I learned at 16 that I had hypothyroidism, but the pills didn’t help. I learned at 25 that I have fibromyalgia, but nobody taught me how to deal with it. I learned at 38 that I have type II bipolar disorder that the doctors kept misdiagnosing as depression with anxiety. Finally a counselor asked some questions that led to the discovery of a pattern and the beginning of my taking lithium. This helped with the irritability, but the constant exhaustion was still there. I learned in the past year that I also have borderline personality disorder and that my hoarding problems are not due to being lazy, they are part and parcel of my obsessive-compulsive disorder. I am struggling to get on top of many, many, many years worth of avoiding the problem and hating myself.

Misplaced Anti-Feminism Leads to Tragedy

This is my response to a post by JennInCanada on her blog, Fat and Unafraid, commemorating the one year anniversary of the killing of multiple women at the Polytechnique School in Montreal. I wanted to post it on the blog entry but for some reason her blog is being uncooperative!

The erroneous idea that women who identify as feminists are all "man-hating femi-nazis" is, I believe, a throwback to the idea that women are supposed to be subservient to men rather than being independent and self-sufficient. It is very sad that this archaic notion manifested itself in such tragedy.

This is my favorite quote about feminism. It definitely applies to my thoughts on the matter.

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a door mat or a prostitute. ~Rebecca West, "Mr Chesterton in Hysterics: A Study in Prejudice," The Clarion, 14 Nov 1913, reprinted in The Young Rebecca, 1982

One day all people will be treated equal and then there will be no need to identify as a feminist if one believes in equal treatment and opportunities for females. Until then, I am not about to be one of those apologists out of whose mouth falls the words "I'm not a feminist, but I believe that women should be afforded the same opportunities as men."

If you believe that, then you damn well are a feminist, whether you are male or female. Don't be afraid to wear the title proudly.

Parent and Child

A Facebook friend's poem made me think, and this is what I thought.

It makes me think of a bit of my relationship with my son. I have lived with mental illness (bipolar disorder, incorrectly diagnosed until I was 38) and although I tried to be a good mother when he was younger my problems were often overwhelming. I think I'm a good mother now but my troubles put me behind where I should be. We live in a rather marginalized fashion and are trying to both do things to improve our lot in life. My hope is that his kids, should he have them, will not have the kind of chaotic life he did in his childhood. He can talk about it with me and he isn't angry any more, but he says he feels he didn't have much of a childhood, which is heartbreaking. His father (whom I've been divorced from since 1994, but who in some fashion I've often ended up having to take care of in one way or another) has mental problems too and I've always been the more mature parent--which is scary, since for most of my life I didn't feel like a functioning adult!

Wow, that was a rant--hope you don't mind. The poem brought things out.

Horror Blogger's Meme

I am not a horror blogger. My blog being horrible does not make me one. But I love horror and I love memes. So I'm doing this one which was created by Pax Romano of Billy Loves Stu, who is a very cool person and is a horror blogger. His blog is not horrible. He describes his meme thusly:

"a Meme for horror bloggers to complete so that the next time someone stumbles across the electronic journal of a burgeoning Pauline Kael, or Stephen King-wanna-be; the reader might get a better idea of where this bloody blogger is coming from."

Well, I am kind of a Stephen King wannabe. But I am not (I repeat) a horror blogger. I hope no actual horror bloggers take exception to a usurper such as myself enjoying this. For the most part, horror bloggers are cool people. But unfortunately there are some who are elitist snobs who seem to have the attitude that only certain select individuals are good enough to join their amazing secret society. If one of them happens upon this and gets upset because I am not a true horror blogger, too fucking bad. May they not be one of the first to be eaten by Cthulhu when the stars are right.

Everyone knows, after all, that its best to be eaten first.

Here is the meme.

1: In Ten Words or Less, Describe Your Blog:

A steaming pile of crap spewed by a certified psycho.

2: During What Cinematic Era Where you Born?

                                            A: The Classic Horror Era (late 30's to 40's)

                                            B: The Atomic Monster/Nuclear Angst Era (the late 40's through 50's)

                                            C: The Psycho Era ( Early 60's)

                                            D: The Rosemary's Baby Era (Mid to Late 60's)

                                            E: The Exorcism Era (Early to mid 70's)

                                            F: The Halloween Era (Late 70's to Early 80's)

                                            G: The Slasher Era (Mid to late 80's)

                                            H: The Self Referential/Post Modern Era (1990 to 1999) 

 The Rosemary's Baby/Viet Nam era. I was born in 1965.

                                    

3: The Carrie Compatibility Question:

                                           (gay men and straight women - make your choice from section A)

                                           A: Billy Nolan or Tommy Ross, who would you take to the prom?

                                           (straight guys and lesbians - make your choice from section B)

                                           B: Sue Snell or Chris Hargensen, who would you take to the prom?

Tommy Ross. He's a nicer guy.

4: You have been given an ungodly amount of money, and total control of a major motion picture studio - what would your dream Horror project be?

to turn my own writing into film--duh!

5: What horror film "franchise" that others have embraced, left you cold?

Twatlight! 

Need I say more?

6:  Is Michael Bay the Antichrist?

Maybe not the Antichrist but he does seem the antithesis to a movie that is based on anything but a desire to earn money.

7: Dracula, The Wolf Man, The Frankenstein Monster - which one of these classic villains scares you, and why?

The Wolf Man. I'm afraid of big dogs. Seriously.

8: Tell me about a scene from a NON HORROR Film that scares the crap out of you:

At my advanced age, its embarrassing to admit that I'm afraid of being in pitch darkness. I'm also claustrophobic. And I'm afraid of suffocation. The scene in Titanic where Rose and Jack are trying to save that kid and they go below decks and the water is pouring in. I keep thinking how dark it would be if the lights go out, and to be trapped in the tight corridor with the water pouring in--GAAAAHHHH! I am never going on a motherfuckin' boat! Besides, I get seasick.

9: Baby Jane Hudson invites you over to her house for lunch.  What do you bring?

A nice bottle of wine and some GHB to lace it with. Not because I want to molest her, but because while she's whacked out on GHB, I'd rescue Blanche.

10: So, between you and me, do you have any ulterior motives for blogging?  Come, on you can tell me, it will be our little secret, I won't tell a soul. 

Mostly to blow off steam and get out some of the shit that's on my mind that I don't have a therapist for right now. But shamefully, it's also because I'm a very lonely person who tends to be misunderstood and though the hope has mostly died, I feel that somewhere out there, there may just be someone who gets where I'm coming from and would actually want to be my friend. Not just a superficial friend but a real one.

11: What would you have brought to Rosemary Woodhouse's baby shower?

Hoofmaker salve maybe. It's best for man and beast.

12: Godzilla vs The Cloverfield Monster, who wins?

Godzira! Godzira! Godzira!

13: If you found out that Rob Zombie was reading your blog, what would you post in hopes that he read it?

Rob, you rule! Well, I've never seen your films but your music rules. And your artwork rules. If I ever get to make a film, I want you to make the sound track. I love you!

14: What is your favorite NON HORROR FILM, and why?

There are a lot of them, just like there are a lot of horror films. I can't really pick a favorite.

15: If blogging technology did not exist, what would you be doing?

Writing my shitty opinions in a journal and trying to get magazines to publish my shit that wasn't just worthless spewing.

Psycho Weather Forecast

You Are a Cirrus Cloud

You're a bit mysterious and reserved. You mostly keep to yourself and do your own thing. Some people may even consider you allusive. You're hard to track down at times. People who know you find you to be very transparent. It's always easy to tell what you're thinking about. You tend to drift more than most people. You're always trying out new ideas, friends, and even personalities.

What Kind of Cloud Are You?

Blogthings: We'll Tell You The Truth... Someone Has To!

I found this on Thom's Blog. Thom is a happy, friendly person. He has a lot of visitors and deservedly so. People like me, who are depressed most of the time, tend to be shunned. Well, that is what is. But what most people don't understand is that people like me really do appreciate kindness, even if we can't express ourselves very well about it. It is a vicious cycle.