What is Fantasy Addiction?
by Katherine Bouglai
Have you ever been in love with someone who doesn't seem to even notice you exist? You go home and fantasize about him or her being in a relationship with you. Then the next day you see this person in real life only to realize that you can't even talk to each other. You know she is unavailable and you don't want to take any chances. Or perhaps you already took your chances and it didn't work out to your advantage. You may even feel uncomfortable in each other's presence. The energy is strong and it makes it hard to be yourself.
Fantasy addiction is bitter sweet, it makes you feel good at first but if you won't let go of your fantasy, it will turn into longing that will eat you up like a parasite. Letting go of a fantasy is not the same as giving up on a dream. There are good reasons why we dream and fantasize about the things we want to have. Having visions about what your heart desires is a first step to making it happen. However, lingering to those visions can only delay them from being manifested. And that's exactly what fantasy addiction is, lingering and earning. Eventually your dream will turn into a painful empty feeling of an unmet need that will prompt you to do something about it and soon. Get your needs met or make them go away. Since you can't meet your needs at this time, you're only left with the other alternative. Ironically, the quickest way to numb those needs for now is to fantasize more. Now you got yourself into a vicious circle.
Interestingly enough, fantasy addiction happens because at some point we have given up on a bigger dream. Hard to believe, isn't it? Think about it though; remember the time before you met this person. How did you feel or think about falling in love then? Did you believe you couldn't? Were you convinced that no one will fall for you? Were you telling yourself things like "love is for anybody but not for me" or "love will only get you hurt so why bother?" And then suddenly, out of the blue you meet this mysterious person who gives you butterflies in your stomach and everything you used to believe about love that was discouraging, all the things you did not want to believe in the first place - are not true! Halleluiah! Now this mystery man or mystery woman is the answer. He or she is your proof that you CAN indeed fall in love again. It is great that you feel this way now, but there is a trap. If for some reason your mystery man isn't into you as much as you are into him, all the negative self-talk you were giving yourself before he came along becomes true again.
Of course, there is a very good reason why this keeps happening. All the negative self-talk about love bringing pain and heartache, fantasy about unavailable person, unwillingness to take risks are serving you one big purpose - to protect you against the pain you believe love will bring you. Only the truth is that love never brings you pain, it's your thoughts and your beliefs that do.
Copyright (c) 2009 Katherine Bouglai
Katherine Bouglai
Personal Empowerment Coach
