Life Don't Hold No Glamour Anymore

I was responding to my friend Alice who is on disability and has been in terrible pain since her knee surgery. Alice really could use some friends but I don't want to accidentally send trolls her way. If you would like to be a compassionate friend, email me at bloomingpsycho@gmail.com and if you are someone I trust, I will give you her blog URL. Alice is an intersexed person (someone born with both genders) and lives with depression and evidence of schizophrenia or a similar disorder. She was saying that she feels like it is her lot in life to be  alone and have no luck. I really feel very much the same way.

I don't know why good people have to have such bad luck. I'm not saying that I'm that good of a person but I don't think I'm that BAD of a person, and my luck is terrible. My son is a good person and he is very depressed. I think not having anything to cheer us, not having any money to have a little bit of a good time doesn't help, and certainly pain doesn't help. My pain levels aren't as bad as yours by any means, but I do have fibromyalgia and I walk with a bit of a "hitch in my git-along." My left foot turns out and I have sciatica. I hope things get better for you, that at least you won't be in so much pain.

I hate how we are told in this world that we have to be beautiful in a certain way to deserve anything good. LIES, ALL LIES! And yet I have bought in and swallowed the lie hook, line, and sinker.

I Am Lonely

I am just lonely. Always have been. I’m shy and have mental health problems. Nobody understands the way I really am. Nobody actually cares. I had people belittle my thoughts so much that I doubt everything now. My dad died 2 months ago, my mom doesn’t understand me at all and wishes I were different, and my brother and son live far away. I don’t have any “real life” friends to speak of. I am very alone. :'-(

negligent

Sorry folks--I use a few different online personas: Bloomingpsycho, Cheesemeister, and Tempestletrope, so it is sometimes a while before I check my comments. I just need to make my sub-personalities into individual functioning beings. Problem is, we'd all probably kill each other.

In darker news, it seems that a friendship I had for about a year has ended. All in all I don't think this friendship was healthy for either party, so its probably a good thing it ended. The sad thing is, this person emailed me about every day and pathetically enough, I miss the attention. FYI, this was not a romantic thing, it was a platonic friendship. 

So I keep checking my inbox and my FB and my blogger, hoping that someone has had something to say.

I guess I need to learn to be a bit more self reliant.

In very trivial news, I have a new pair of shoes which I'm going to take for a test drive.

My son and his father are in Arizona for 10 days. I tend to have trouble being alone, so the losing the friend timing is particularly bad.

Me and the Universe really need to work on this timing thing.